Most Intense Airport Pat Down!
I was feeling great after a relaxing few days on the isle of Zanzibar in Tanzania. Barely awake, I was almost sleepwalking through airport security on my way back to my hectic work schedule in mainland Africa. My friend was ahead of me, in the same early morning, pre-coffee state.
By this point, I am practically a machine when it comes to airport security. I dutifully hauled out my laptop and liquids. When the female security guard motioned for me to do so I stepped forward, with my arms out and my legs spread. Little did I know she was about to check God's Pocketbook through my thin leggings to make sure I wasn't smuggling any drugs.
What's God's Pocketbook, you ask? It's a term I recently learned from a women's prison documentary. Apparently it's prison slang for the wonderful cavity God gave women to help them smuggle things in prison.
I was now fully awake, pondering the legality of what had just happened when the look on my friend's face said that her pocketbook had also just been checked.